id be glad to
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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