Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
