You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
