The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
