So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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