And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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