A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
