she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
