Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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