one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
