Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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