If i come over, it means nothing
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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