Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty

Fav 31 1436 4302
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?

Fav 4 4801 1273
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(661): View more from California

Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.

Fav 17 6975 1433
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(732): View more from New Jersey

just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.

Fav 4 3138 1005
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?

Fav 7 2413 1188
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(541): View more from Oregon

I want a burrito.

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Truly, you are the voice of a generation.

Fav 9 3006 918
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(682): View more from Texas

He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl

Fav 2 1753 1327
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(540): View more from Virginia

Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding

Fav 1 517 535
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(316): View more from Kansas

Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl

Fav 0 43 7
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