idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
