I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
