you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
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his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
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I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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