do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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