fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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