I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
