you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
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I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
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Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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