ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just saw a hot homeless man
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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