Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
this will be a night to untag.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
