apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
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I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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