Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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