ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
