i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
