We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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