we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I got inside last night via doggy door
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
