I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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