im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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