im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
