You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
