a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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