Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
