Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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