my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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