Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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