This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
