Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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