think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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