Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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