It's Friday. Sex?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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