you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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