So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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