At least make sure they are 18
Why
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
