No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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