Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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