Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
