I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
