Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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