I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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