my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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