My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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