Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
