Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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