the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize