it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
i now understand why vodka
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My vagina is very pro this idea
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