your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
