just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
