i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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